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THE HEAVENLY BACKFLIP
Seeing and Being the Unfigureoutable
by
J. C. Amberchele
LOOK!
Sometimes
I want to stop the first person I see and shout, LOOK! LOOK! Isn’t this
MIRACULOUS?
But
of course they’d think I was crazy and step around me and hurry on their way.
But
no matter, no matter, I say, for you see, I’ve HAPPENED!
Isn’t
that MARVELOUS? Like Jack sprung from an invisible box, I’ve popped up out of
NOWHERE!
Literally
nowhere, and with no help, and for no reason but to BE!
So
come. Come from your contraction, confrontation, insanity. See how you VANISH!
And
find in your place this wild spectacle, this riot of sound and shape and color,
this wondrous world that is your Self!
All
right
Here!
INTRODUCTION WHAT AM I?
The Great Ones, the
sages of every age, tell me what to look for. They say that the answer lies not
elsewhere but right where I am, here where I am both the center and the source
of the universe. They say that, contrary to what I may think I am, what I
really am is formless, boundless, timeless, and deathless; that I am utterly
transparent, empty, not an object. They say that this clarity that lies at the
very heart of my humanity is none other than the Self, God, Buddha, Tao, and
the Beloved, and that to see and be this requires no change, no achievement, no
struggle, for it is already what I am; in fact, I cannot not be it. They say
that no one else can tell me what I am, that I must see for myself, and should
I discover this and live consciously from this, all will be right, all will be
true.
This one story, the
story of One, has been called the Perennial Philosophy, and is said to be the
root message of all the major religions, a message long ago buried in the
pronouncements of those who did not understand. But now it is widely available
again, this time as the message of Non-duality, in books and at gatherings and
online. The WORD—simple, precise, direct—is alive and well and making the
rounds, for all who are ready to hear.
And even more
direct—that is, direct to this core of Luminous Awareness—is the VISION, the seeing
of what you are, where you are. This vision is so simple, so easy to see, it is
mostly overlooked. And for good reason—it is what is looking. And it is this
“looking at what is looking,” actually looking back at what you are looking out
of, that is the theme of this book.
According to the Tao Te
Ching, the Tao that can be spoken is not the Tao. One can only point in the
direction of awakening, and while most of the pointers in the Non-duality
message are conceptual, there is one pointer that dispenses with words and
actually, physically points at the Luminous Awareness that you are. It is your
index fi nger, pointing at where you thought you had a face, the same face that
others see and say you have, but where you see only emptiness, no-thing, that
which was once referred to as your “Original Face,” the one you had before you
were born and the one only you can see, right where you are. It is the face of
First-Person-Singular, Present Tense, also called the Self, God, Buddha, and
the Beloved. It is what you really are and always have been: formless,
boundless, timeless, somehow awake, somehow knowing, forever unknown.
The writings and
dialogues in this book are offered, then, as pointers, arrows aimed at Who You
Really Are. May you see and be what you already are. May you see and be THIS:
undeniable, unfi gureoutable.
BACKFLIP
Jump back. Do a backflip
into Who You Are. It’s not there, it’s here. All of it. It’s all internal.
There’s no outside. There’s no inside, even. It all just IS, for no reason
other than heaven. Who are we and what are we doing? This is it! Simply THIS.
We’re worlding. We’re universing. And we’re not “we.” We’re I, awake to the
fact of Awakeness, aware, unborn, knowing.
Jump back.
ENLIGHTENMENT
What’s your take on
enlightenment? I’ve read about all the great spiritual masters who were
enlightened, about the Buddha being enlightened.
No one has ever been
enlightened.
So what does
enlightenment mean, then?
The best definition I’ve
heard is that enlightenment is the absence of anyone to be enlightened. Put it
this way, it’s not something you “get.” It’s not attained because it’s what you
already are, and what you already are is the absence of what you think you are,
a separate, self-existing “self.” It’s also a term that people use to
distinguish between those who supposedly know how things really are and those
who don’t, the “enlightened” and the “endarkened,” which makes no sense to
those who know how things really are.
Then why do people
strive for it?
Because it’s the best
game in town, especially when other games are seen through and no longer work.
One gets to be “spiritual,” a seeker of truth. One has apparent meaning in
their life, and can join others who have similar aspirations. One gets to be
pious, righteous, and may even experience spiritual “highs” from time to time.
What’s so bad about
that?
Nothing. It’s not bad,
it’s just not different from any other game of being “somebody” and having a
“life.” It’s no different from being a doctor, a janitor, or a car mechanic.
People want to get
free, and think enlightenment is freedom. Apparently you disagree.
They were never bound,
and in seeking enlightenment, they bind themselves all the more. It’s the same
with “awakening”—they were never asleep, and only sink deeper into dreamland
by trying to wake up.
So what can be done?
How does anyone go about waking up?
They don’t. What we’re
talking about here is merely a shift in perception, and no one does it. It just
happens. I can tell you to try this method or that, but it won’t make a bit of
difference unless you’re ready, and I don’t even know what “ready” means.
So you’re not
enlightened?
No.
Then why are we having
this conversation?
Because you think I can
help you fi nd enlightenment?
Yes, I guess that’s the
reason.
Well, sorry to
disappoint you, but in the end, others can’t help you. At some point The
Absolute—Who You Really Are—chooses to consciously know itself, and in a fl ash
of insight, turns in on itself, sees itself, looks back on itself and
recognizes the Empty Awareness that it is. It’s called Seeing, and it doesn’t
happen to a separate self for the obvious reason that the separate self is an
object, an appearance in Seeing, in Who You Really Are, and can therefore never
see, never know, anything.
This Seeing can be the
end of the road, the end of seeking. Or it can be the beginning of a process
of confi rmation whereby years are spent meditating, reading, meeting with
others interested in spiritual matters, and maybe inquiring into the nature of
the separate self, searching it out, pinning it down, discovering where it
resides if it resides anywhere. This inquiry may reveal the real story of the
separate self, that one’s identity as the body and mind is in fact just that—a
story. In this way, perhaps over and over, as the mind repeatedly searches for
and repeatedly fails to find a separate self, conditioning is eroded, and one’s
identity is left suspended in the unknown.
What happens then? Will
I be lost, or will I be awake?
Who you think you are
will perhaps be lost, but never awake. Who You Really Are is Awakeness Itself,
and can never be lost.
Well, I feel a little
lost right now.
Hang in there, it only
gets worse—and that’s the good news!
LOOK AT WHAT YOU ARE
LOOKING OUT OF
LOOK AT WHAT YOU ARE
LOOKING OUT OF, and notice that there are…
NO BOUNDARIES—Like an
open window with no frame, lit from within, notice how huge it is, that the
whole world easily fi ts inside it, for it is entirely…
EMPTY—Not a speck of
anything gets in the way. And because it is entirely empty, it is…
ENTIRELY FILLED—With
the scene. And it isn’t just “space” for the scene, it is the scene! Thus, it
is WHAT IS. And all of it is presented right…
HERE—And it is wide,
wide…
AWAKE!
THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE!
(Search the universe
far and wide, and you will never find another awareness. There is only THIS, and
it is boundless, empty, filled with the scene, right here, and awake. It is Who
You Are, and you are THE ALONE.)
JOURNEY TO HERE
I read something today
in a book by a Buddhist nun that was discouraging. She was saying that this is
as good as it gets, that the journey of self-improvement—bettering oneself,
becoming wiser and more peaceful over the years—is an illusion. This goes
against the grain of everything I’ve been taught. It goes against the grain of
the society we live in. And one of the reasons I came to Buddhism in the first
place was because I felt it would make me a better person.
“This is as good as it
gets.” Who better to have uttered that great line than Jack Nicholson?
Oh… yeah… you’re
talking about the film.
Yes. But it also could
have been uttered by the Buddha. There is not, never was, and never will be a
journey. Not of self-improvement, not of life, not even from point A to point
B! There is only THIS, appearing as a journey: THIS, pretending to go out and
return to Itself, but never being other than Itself.
But don’t you find that
depressing? Without a journey, without goals and achievement, what’s the use of
living? Life would be so boring and meaningless.
On the contrary, what a
relief! There’s no pressure to perform. There’s no search. There’s nothing to
be other than what you are. And instead of the boring daily struggle of hauling
an illusory self up an illusory mountain of personal improvement, all the while
missing the fabulous view, there is the excitement of not only what shows up
but that it shows up, right now. What could be more meaningful or less dreary?
So it’s like I need to
walk instead of run—is that what you’re saying? I need to slow down and notice
my surroundings more?
No, there’s nothing you
need to do. What I’m saying points to a fundamental change of outlook, the
difference between seeing from the point of view of, as you said, “everything
you’ve been taught,” to seeing reality exactly as it is, without the filter of
believing you are a separate self. Buddhism isn’t about making you a better
person. Buddhism is about discovering you are much more and much less than a
person. When that is realized, the entire structure of a life involving a past
and a future changes. This fundamental change has been called metanoesis, or paravritti—turning
away from the mistaken belief that you’re a separate self up against a hostile
world “out there.” It’s the holy backflip, and it’s not about a “you” doing
anything, improving or not improving.
But what about the
Buddhist doctrine of accumulating merit, so that one can be reborn into a more
favorable life next time around?
Well, let’s just say
that Buddhism, like all the other major religions, has its share of
foolishness. I can’t imagine the Buddha having said one word about accumulating
merit, and if he did, surely it was taken out of context or misquoted or in
some way reworded years later by those who didn’t understand. A doctrine such
as that only perpetuates the false belief of being a separate self, the very
belief that Buddhism intends to dispel.
So would you say it’s a
matter of not knowing where you’re going?
Well…
Because at least I
wouldn’t be on a journey, setting goals, trying to have a better life.
Yes, as long as you
don’t set the goal of not setting goals, you might at least relax. And just
maybe the idea that you are merely a separate self will relax also. Try to
relax, however, and you’ll continue perpetuating that self. This is diffi cult
to hear, I know. It’s very deflating to learn that you can’t do anything about
anything. The good news is that it happens, and when it does, the response can
be laughter, awe, relief, and gratitude. However, even what is said here is
misleading because it’s not an event in the usual sense of the word. It
happens outside the concept of time. But it’s known, because it’s your essence,
your nature, as What Is.
Well, how can I know
it?
You can’t know it
because it’s not an object. It itself is the knowing. “Hows” and “whys” have no
relevance. There’s no answer to “how” because it can only lead away from where
you are, and there’s no answer to “why” because, since there’s nothing other
than THIS, there’s no causal relationship to something else. This is it! This
is as good as it gets, and it’s What you Are.
QUANDARY
How to say it? How to
describe what this is?
I might say what I am
not, but even that is what I am, for there is nothing apart from what I am. I
am Pure Awareness manifesting as this and that, and this and that are what I
am: Pure Awareness.
The Negative Way—neti
neti, “not this, not that”—taken to the limit, might reveal what I am, but only
because, taken to the limit, all that is negated is then seen to be what I am!
I am Awareness filled
with everything, and not as two. I am void/form. I am Pure Subjectivity. I am
Awakeness, Presence, Being… and none of these.
This much I know: I am
a quandary unto myself.
SO WHAT?
The way I see it, there
are levels of consciousness, and right now we are at an evolutionary stage
where more and more people are approaching enlightenment because they are
functioning from a higher plane, so to speak.
How do you figure?
In the past, there were
a few people here and there who were enlightened, like the Buddha and a couple
of his followers, some Zen Masters in China and Japan, a scattering of holy men
in India—but now with the internet and globalization, thousands of people are
waking up all over the world. Along with this, man is evolving psychically,
expanding his consciousness, maybe even developing a larger brain. There are
the old stories of how enlightened beings could levitate or fly or be in two
places at once, or even walk through walls. I think we’ll see more of that in
the near future because we’ll be operating from a higher level of
consciousness.
How could anyone
approach enlightenment when what they already are is enlightenment itself? How
could there be an enlightened being when enlightenment means that there is no
separate being to be it? How could consciousness come in levels when all levels
are in consciousness? How can you be in two places at once when you’re nowhere
at all?
I take it you don’t
agree.
No, I don’t. All that
mumbo jumbo about “levels of consciousness” and “approaching enlightenment”
only functions to keep you trapped in the notion of being a separate self in a
world of separate things. The same for the siddhis—the magical powers that one
hopes to gain or attain to when “enlightened.” You can walk through walls? So
what? You can levitate or fly around the block? Big deal. None of it means anything
to Who You Really Are; none is a prerequisite for becoming Who You Really Are
nor a result of discovering Who You Really Are. You are That right now.
Yeah, but that’s so
deflating. It means I’m stuck with the way things are right now, and I don’t particularly
like the way things are. It feels like giving up. Plus, I can’t believe that
any old Joe Schmo could be enlightened.
You’re not stuck with
the way things are. The way things are is What You Are! You’ve got one thing
right, though—any old Joe Schmo can’t be enlightened. No one can.
But it can’t just be
what’s going on right now.
Again, coming from your
notion of being a separate self, it isn’t what you think is going on. As Who
You Really Are, it is exactly what is going on. In fact, Who You Really Are is
what is going on, including, even, your notion of being a separate self.
That’s hard to accept.
I’m not willing to be the world’s punching bag.
No, of course not. If
you believe you are self-existing and apart from Oneness, you might win a few
rounds, but you’ll lose most, and eventually you’ll get knocked out of the ring
altogether. And that’s okay. It’s how Who You Really Are is manifesting right
now. Right now it’s playing the part of a separate individual who doesn’t want
to be a punching bag but, because of his conditioned beliefs, is bound to be
one anyway. If you get around to investigating those beliefs, you may find them
to be untrue. Or you could look within— actually take a look at what you are looking
out of—and realize Who You Really Are in a flash. By that I mean that you can
turn your attention around 180 degrees and see That Which Is Seeing. When I do
this, I see nothing. But it’s not the kind of nothing that’s the opposite of
something; it’s not a mere blank. This nothing is aware. And it’s huge, in that
everything easily fits within it, including the universe as a whole. Take a
look, and take what you see on present evidence, not what you assume or believe
because it’s what you learned as a child from others. Others (and cameras),
from where they are, see a right-side-up human being with a head on top and
feet below. But is that what you see from where you are? Are you not, from your
point of view, upside-down and headless? Look back. Do you see your face or do
you see clear, open, boundless awareness, fi lled with the scene? Hasn’t it
always been this way, even though you haven’t noticed it? See as a little child
would, with that same innocent curiosity prior to thoughts and beliefs. Are you
really the way others see and say you are? Why take their word for it, when you
can plainly see what you are for yourself?
I don’t see the point.
That “looking back” thing doesn’t do anything for me. I mean, it’s interesting
and all that, but what’s that got to do with enlightenment?
You see, this is what
happens when you hold false assumptions and expectations—you want “the point”
to be other than what is. Rather than see the truth about Who You Really Are,
you seek fireworks and magic. Who You Really Are is all very ordinary, just now,
just now, just as it is.
And oh, before I
forget, Who You Really Are is the center of the universe, a universe that
appears within you, as you. So what? Well, some call it God.
SENSATIONAL BODY
Telling the truth,
taking exactly what is presented and not what I have learned from others nor
what I assume nor imagine, I ask: What is this flesh-body that “follows me
around” (as a friend likes to say) all day and night? Is it not, like every
other thing, a sensation experienced in and by Awareness? I see it, hear it and
feel it as I see, hear and feel other objects, and yet I call this flesh-body
“me” and other objects “not me,” as though it is the body that experiences the
sensations, as though Awareness is a mere by-product of the body, as though
what I am is the body.
Clearly, with one look,
it is the opposite. And to prove it, I have only to compare this
First-Person-Singular body with those other second- and third-person bodies.
Taking exactly what is presented—which is to see from the First-Person
perspective—all other bodies are right-side-up and headed, while this body is
undeniably upside-down and headless. This body, my resurrection body—with arms
outstretched to infinity, the enormous torso, truncated legs and little feet,
the grass, the buildings, the mountains and sky—this is my true body, all of it
here in this vast emptiness, an emptiness that is aware capacity for all that
passes through. You have a face over there, but here my face is the scene,
vibrant and alive, changing moment by moment.
Can you not say the
same? Are you really what others see from where they are, or are you what you
see from where you are? How could they know, when only you can say? Only you
can see what a truly sensational body you have. It’s called Everything.
About the Author
J.C. AMBERCHELE was born in
Philadelphia in 1940, attended a Quaker school, then college in Pennsylvania
and New York, earning a B.A. in psychology. He first became interested in the
nature of the Self in the 1960s when he took LSD, but didn’t become deeply
involved in spiritual matters until after he went to prison and tried
meditation in the 1980s. During that time, he studied the works of Wei Wu Wei,
Ramana Maharshi, Nisargadatta Maharaj and many others, until happening upon an
article by Douglas Harding that allowed him to actually see Who he really is.
Since then, he has been practicing Seeing, and is the author of two previous
books on the subject: The Light That I Am: Notes From The Ground of Being; and The Almighty Mackerel
and His Holy Bootstraps: Waking Up to Who You Really Are, both published by
Non-Duality Press. He has been incarcerated for more than 30 years, and does
not expect to be released soon.
LINKS
The Heavenly Backflip at Non-Duality Press: http://non-dualitypress.org/products/the-heavenly-backflip
The Heavenly Backflip on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/The-Heavenly-Backflip-Seeing-Unfigureoutable/dp/1908664231/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1349320550&sr=8-1&keywords=THE+HEAVENLY+BACKFLIP
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